Written by: Beautiful Gate
Article source: JOY! Magazine
She is clothed in strength and dignity – A story about how a mother provides for her family
Like so many mothers in townships and informal settlements around South Africa, Khanyiswa Mguye was anxious about the kind of life her children were born into.
“Like any other parent, I want my children to succeed and reach their full potential; but as an unemployed mother, this was so hard for me to achieve,” she explains. “I would constantly have arguments with my husband about the misuse of our finances, but because he was the sole breadwinner, I did not have a say in how he spent his money.”
Taking a step to change her life
Khanyiswa recalls how she found herself at Beautiful Gate South Africa (BGSA) for the first time in 2018. Her deep concern about her daughter’s future prospects resulted in her enrolling her then-seven-year old girl in BGSA’s After School Programme. Little did she know that the organisation’s holistic approach would involve and develop her family for the better.
“I had not realised that the tension in my home was affecting my daughter.”
Community transformation
For the past 26 years, BGSA has been engaged in community transformation
and helping to change the life circumstances of some of the most marginalised residents of Lower Crossroads and Philippi. The organisation’s mission is rooted in Christ – an affirmation practiced everyday as it seeks to share the love of God. The team’s priority is to care for and protect children and to empower and preserve the cornerstone of society: families. This ultimately leads to the mobilisation of the broader community – a community that actively protects and upholds children’s rights for the betterment of their future. This seed was planted in Khanyiswa’s mind back in 2018, when she started her journey through change with us.
Home life affects school life
While her daughter’s marks started improving through the academic support he received, Khanyiswa noticed that her disagreements with her husband were having a negative effect on her children. Once again, she found herself at the BGSA front gate. She accessed another service that was offered and was introduced to Nomawonga Khohliso, the Programme Manager for the Family Strengthening Department. This unit is dedicated to repairing and empowering families. The meeting was followed by a family assessment, which is one of the tools used to measure and evaluate the care plan needed for every unique family setting.
Counselling led to change
“After consulting Nomawonga, we got to the root of the problem: my daughter was affected by the disagreements that my husband and I were having about finances, and this was impacting hugely on her happiness. I had not realised that the tension in my home was affecting my daughter and had caused her stress that she could not articulate or contain. I then took my child to one of the social workers for counselling and worked harder at creating a peaceful home where she would be happy,” she adds.
Actively involved in transformation
Without realising it, Khanyiswa had become an active parent at Beautiful Gate. She attended meetings regularly and was very involved in her daughter’s education and recreational activities. Her proactivity led her to enquire and register for the quarterly Parenting Skills Training – a short course that educates and empowers parents to raise their children with love and care.
“That course gave me so much insight on how to properly and purposefully raise my children. I learnt how to create a wholesome household. I learnt so much about being a woman and by the end of it, I felt equipped to be a good mother,” she explains with a wide smile.
Volunteering to help others
2018 was an eventful year for Khanyiswa, because as soon as she successfully completed her parenting course, she eagerly volunteered to assist at BGSA’s annual Holiday Club. This position had her engaged in fulfilling activities like cooking for the children, and she was delighted to a be a part of something that brought smiles to the children’s faces.
In the days that followed, Khanyiswa reflected on how 2018 had ended on such a high for her and her family. But this was not the end of her association with the organisation.
Little did Khanyiswa know that her life was about to change forever…
Upskilling, improving, helping
“One day, I was approached by one of the education programme managers. She had seen how invested I was in the wellbeing of not only my children, but the children that Beautiful Gate serves. After confirming that I had my matric certificate, she encouraged me to apply to be a volunteer – and so I did, and because my heart was already invested in it, I was selected and welcomed into the tutoring team.”
The tutor volunteer induction came with multiple training opportunities, which quickly added to her growing skill set, placing Khanyiswa in a better position to fend for her family and also support her children with their education. “Tutoring was such an educational phase in my life, with new challenges and opportunities to apply creative solutions”, Khanyiswa explains excitedly.
Stretching herself further than ever
This year, Khanyiswa is stretching herself even further and studying to become a Child and Youth Care Worker in the Family Strengthening Department. Her volunteering spirit has opened more doors, landing her the opportunity to actively participate in changing the lives of children in her community.
Currently, she is one of the volunteers who are ensuring that children are kept safe and off the streets during the lockdown. Practicing the appropriate safety measures, she educates children on how to prevent contracting and spreading the coronavirus while keeping busy with multiple academic and cultural activities provided by BGSA’s donors as part of an ongoing Covid-19 Response Campaign.
Passion unfolding before her eyes
Khanyiswa concludes that her passion is unfolding before her eyes, “I owe my successes to God, because even I was unaware that I could be so involved in my community. I have always been shy and reserved unless I am in our worship and devotion sessions, and I sometimes notice that same spirit comes over me when I engage with parents and learners. I think it is because I relate very much, I know the desires we, as mothers, have for our children. This has made my work very personal, like my relationship with God – I know I will not fail.”
Khanyiswa is, indeed “clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” – Proverbs 31:25-26
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Date published: 12/07/2020
Feature image: Khanyiswa Mguye and family
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