Written by: Sophia Roman
Article source: JOY! Magazine

Life can be hard and so unfair at times. People suffer and ask, ‘Why me?’ or ‘Why my child?’ – the question ‘why’ never seems to go away…

I introduce to you Esther Philander – a beautiful, gifted, and gentle soul who loves God. In January 2020 she left with three of her friends to go to Morocco, where they had all received jobs at a hotel. She was extremely excited for her new experience. Two months into their contract they heard the news about the coronavirus. There was no time think about it, the nation went into lockdown. The usual 100 to 200 guests per day dwindled to 50, then 30, then 10. They ended up with only 2 female guests for a few days… then, nobody. It was at this juncture that the hotel manager announced that everybody was going to vacate the hotel.

Lockdown in an unknown nation
As staff, Esther and her friends were allowed to stay at the hotel, with only a microwave and a small fridge that had been made available for them. They had to see to their own meals, and salaries had stopped. There was no income and no certainty as to what was to come. There were no people in sight, everybody was indoors. Only one of the ladies was allowed to go out to do essential shopping, when necessary. They were all stuck at the hotel in Morocco, worrying about their families back home. In the meanwhile, a travel agent had started making plans for a repatriation flight back to Cape Town. A phone call came and confirmed a flight for April. Excited and ready to go home, the ladies packed their bags. Just as they were about to leave for the airport, the agent called with bad news, the flight was cancelled.

Deeply discouraged and uncertain
At this stage the ladies were running very low on money, with no income in Morocco. As a team it started to affect their emotions and moods. Deeply discouraged and concerned, the ladies wondered if they would find a flight back. Esther, being a believer, started to encourage and pray with her team daily. She would call her praying parents back home for support and strength. A second repatriation flight was confirmed in May, yet again as they were about to leave, the flight was cancelled. A month later, a third flight was cancelled; a fourth one in August. The situation became hopeless. The ladies received a 5th call of a confirmed flight, but had no excitement.

Closed door after closed door
This time, they made it to the airport. Eventually they all checked in, ready for their flight. Esther came through customs and was sitting at the boarding gate. She became worried as her friends were not in sight – their names were called, the boarding gate was about to close. It turned out that they had been held back as the Visa dates in their passports had expired. They were not allowed to get on the flight. At their insistence, Esther quickly ran back to board the flight herself. Just as she got to the gate, the staff shared that she had just missed the flight. She burst into tears of frustration.

Questioning God, withdrawing emotionally
Esther kept asking God why, and became extremely withdrawn. “Why does this have to happen to us?” she asked. The ladies felt a sense of hopelessness, there was no way out. They were tired, disappointed, and angry at God – they felt like God had given up on them. Two weeks later they were finally able to get on a flight back to Cape Town – emotionless, still in shock, just holding on to God’s promises. After a year of uncertainty, disappointment, and despair, Esther – together with her praying family – believed and trusted God that she would be home for Christmas, knowing that those who trust in the Lord will never be disappointed. Today Esther enjoys being home and having her off days as she still is processing this difficult journey.

Have you ever questioned God? Share your journeys with us:
info@joymag.co.za

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Date published: 23/11/2020
Feature image: Esther Philander
Sophia Roman is a pioneer, visionary and life transformation coach. Sophia and her husband Theo pastor the West Reach AOG Church in Mitchells Plain.

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