Written by: Sophia Roman
Article source: JOY! Magazine
Reggie was born into a family, the youngest of two boys. Everything changed for his family when, at three months old, he was diagnosed with Perthes disease – a rare condition of the hip that causes the deterioration of bones, muscles, and nerves. When his dad got the news, he immediately rejected and disowned Reggie. He questioned if he was Reggie’s real dad, and that night he started to physically abuse his wife.
Reggie was admitted to hospital because he needed continuous medical care. Although visits from his dad stopped, his brother, Elmo, and his mom visited often. His dad was filled with rage and anger; he influenced his wife to stop her visits too.
Reggie and his family
Disowned by his family
For the first seven years of his life, Reggie remained in a hospital bed. The only people who showed him love and acceptance were his godparents, Mavis and Jan Baker, as well as his doctor at Lady Michaelis Community Health Clinic in Cape Town. Reggie spent weekends at Dr Jimmy Wade’s home, forming a relationship with his family.
An attempted murder
One day, out of the blue, Reggie’s dad came to “visit” him in hospital. Dr Wade caught him red-handed trying to kill Reggie by smothering him with a pillow. The hospital pressed charges and took out an interdict. Reggie grew up rejected and abandoned by his own family. The hurt and negative emotions he experienced are indescribable. When he was discharged from hospital, he moved in with his godparents – his new family. Reggie remembers how his cousins waited and were excited to meet him. He still could not walk, but he could slide his body on the floor to move around. Later on, he learnt to walk with the help of a built-up shoe.
Kidnapped
When Reggie was 13 his dad kidnapped him, intending on ending his life. Reggie’s uncle discovered that he was missing, and after a 24-hour manhunt, he was found. Reggie eventually suffered a nervous breakdown, just before completing his matric year.
His dad fell ill
A few years went on until, at age 25, Reggie’s aunt called to share that his dad was critically ill. Reggie did not want to see his dad. In fact, he felt that his dad deserved to die. He was persuaded by a friend, however, to visit his dad. When he arrived, Elmo accompanied him to his dad’s bedside, where he lay critically ill. He decided to stay a little longer to show honour and respect, as this is what the Bible encourages.
Forgiveness sets you free
Reggie started to spend time with his dad, helping to take care of him. The moment came when Reggie asked his dad’s forgiveness for not being able to be the son he wanted. In return his dad responded by saying: “No, I must ask you to forgive me, my son, for not being present in your life and for trying to kill you.” Since that night Reggie’s heart turned towards his dad. He spent the last few weeks of his dad’s life by his side, caring for him and trying to make up for lost time, honouring his dad to the end.
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Date published: 28/05/2023
SOPHIA ROMAN – pioneer, visionary and life transformation coach. Sophia and her husband, Theo, pastor the West Reach AOG Church in Mitchells Plain.
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