Written by: Sophia Roman
Article source: JOY! Magazine
“God’s grace that will pardon and cleanse within; God’s grace that is greater than all our sin!”
After a deeply challenging marriage of 25 years, Katy found herself hurting and brutally crushed. There were times when she was reminded that she “had fallen from grace”. Yet, the truth is that grace never drops us. The road to forgiveness is a journey of continuous self-denial, dying to self daily. Our life stories have never been about us, but for God’s glory – by grace – with an offer of hope to a hurting world.
Relive the broken road
Katy married a handsome, kind, and hospitable gentleman, Jarek. Her expectations were high. She saw him as the priest of the home. Three months into their marriage, things started to go wrong. She kept going as, at that time, it was expected of Christian wives to be strong, to protect and cover their husbands, and not to speak out of your home – even if the wives had to walk on eggshells all the time (even in the face of all sorts of abuse).
Yet, Jarek was a servant-minded man who loved God. They were the picture-perfect couple. They have two handsome strong sons who, in their own right, are leaders too.
Our lives have never been about us, but for God’s glory with an offer of hope to a hurting world.
Forgive, as you have been forgiven
One day, Jarek suffered a severe stroke and found himself in hospital. For months, Katy and her boys were all alone, trying to gather the broken pieces to start again and to just keep going, as their faith in God was strong. The thought of divorce was luring her, but the shame was too much. After what felt like a lifetime, her children’s dad was finally discharged from hospital. Katy’s boys came and said, “Dad has no place to live – we would like to ask your permission for him to stay with us please?” It was the most difficult request and hardest decision to make. Katy cried out to God, and then heard an audible voice, “Forgive, as you have been forgiven”. “I looked at my sons’ faces,” Katy shared, “and I knew I could not say no.”
A journey of pain and suffering
Jarek’s left leg was in a permanent brace and, while he regained partial control, he never regained the use of his left hand. He suffered renal failure and needed high care and dialysis. He was nothing like the former 5-foot-11 warrior whose legs could kick start a Boeing. “On the contrary, he was a mere shadow of the man who once tore clothes from my body,” she explains. One day, Katy was sitting on the edge of Jarek’s bed when she asked him how he felt. The dialysis treatment often made him ill and very weak. Katy was worried. Sometimes, without them knowing, he fell and would injure his head.
Finding mercy and light
“We had many talks,” Katy shares. The kind of talks that Katy had always wanted when they were married. Both husband and wife started to walk their journey to wholeness, mercy, and light. This what forgiveness caused them to do – they found peace.
On the morning of 30 May 2019, Jarek sadly lost his battle with renal failure and the side effects of the severe stroke. “Forgive, as you have been forgiven,” still rings in Katy’s ears.
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Date published: 23/06/2022
Sophia Roman is a pioneer, visionary and life transformation coach. Sophia and her husband Theo pastor the West ReachAOG Church in Mitchells Plain.
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