Written by: Rita du Toit
Article source: JOY! Magazine
We all have a story to tell. Most involve family life, achievements, a career, etc., but they most likely also involve some form of trauma, loss, pain, rejection, or suffering. My story is no different. In fact, I experienced various seasons of trauma and rejection in my life, not understanding why.
A childhood in Paarl
I was born in Port Elizabeth in June 1960, the youngest of three siblings. My dad was employed by the Department of Correctional Services, so our family moved a few times. When I was five, we relocated to Victor Verster Prison in Paarl, now known as Drakenstein Correctional Centre. We stayed there for nine years and I had the privilege to experience a very special farm-like childhood in a small community.
Rita du Toit
An early encounter with the Holy Spirit
Raised in a traditional Afrikaans church, during high school I encountered the Holy Spirit on two occasions which deeply touched me and ignited a fire in my spirit. With no one to disciple me, it gradually grew dim.
Loss, joy, and salvation
Loss and joy awaited. I lost my first baby at 25 weeks pregnant in 1987. The next year the Lord blessed us with another son. Just a few months later, my mom was diagnosed with a very aggressive and painful breast cancer, and passed away in February 1991 at the age of 57. I was 30. I got saved in November 1991.
A troubled marriage
Our daughter was born the next year, but our marriage wasn’t doing well at all. My children’s father suffered from a very dark depression. I powerlessly watched him go through one cycle of depression after another. We had very different standards and rules for our children. He also didn’t share my faith, but the Lord used our circumstances to train me to intercede for him in prayer.
Dreams and spiritual warfare
God also gave me significant dreams and visions, and I received a number of prophecies during those years. They were about spiritual warfare, and He taught me how to do it.
Our marriage of over 14 years was really deeply unhappy and unfulfilling for both of us, and the cracks increased under the pressures of differences, explosive arguments, and financial struggles.
A sudden death and deeper trials
In September 2000, my husband died unexpectedly when I was 40, our son 12, and our daughter eight. If I had hoped that our lives would be better after that, nothing could have prepared us for what was coming.
The years that followed were darker and more challenging than we could ever have imagined. The spiritual warfare became more intense. Simultaneously, it was a wonderful time, as the Lord taught us firsthand who He is for us. He took care of us from month to month, even after He opened a door of employment for me.
Lessons in trust
We learnt that not all people who offer help have your best interest at heart, but the Lord is faithful and even used that to work together for our good.
I was lonely, but remained single for eight years, because I was cautious and broken. I didn’t trust my own judgement and chose to trust the Lord to bring someone to me. He did.
Rita and her husband, Leon.
New beginnings and new challenges
We got married in December 2009, a year after we met. We learnt that blessings come with more responsibility. Love (and romance) was one thing, but there were broken teenagers and mature children to provide a home for. They had different backgrounds and needs.
Our children all had anger issues related to their past. We were challenged to the extreme to manage it all well, while building our relationship. My long career in the stressful environment of the advertising industry, which I loved, by now began to take its toll.
God has always been there
If it sounds like I am complaining about all the bad things that happened in my life, let me put it in perspective for you. The Lord has always been there – my whole life – through every season, every valley, every spiritual battle, and He was also with everyone else involved.
However, it all caught up with me and in 2021 I found myself in a very dark place. My loving husband continued to support me, which I treasure, but it took my own two children to put pressure on me to see that I needed healing and change.
A healing journey
In October 2021, the Lord took me through a season, showing me my true spiritual and emotional condition, and took me on a healing journey that involved repentance, forgiveness, and transformation.
He led me to write my autobiography which was a part of the healing process. I thank the Holy Spirit for the tremendous work He has done in us, individually, and as a family. We learnt that every member of a blended family is equally important. No one is altogether right or completely wrong. We all learnt something from each other.
Bold faith and lasting purpose
I learnt that life is not about our good or bad experiences, but it’s all about our purpose! God is faithful and we can take Him at His Word. He loves it if we stand on His Word with boldness, not in arrogance, but in faith.
If you’d like to read more of this powerful story of faith, healing, and spiritual warfare, you can find Rita’s book and other resources at warriorbridearise.org.
This article is featured in the July issue of JOY! Magazine. Read a digital version of this magazine here: joygifts.co.za
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Date published: 17/07/2025
Feature image: Image for illustrative purposes only.
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