Written by: Martinet Holtzhausen
Article source: JOY! Magazine
One of the greatest challenges children of God face is finding their true identity in Christ. In a world where identities are shaped by achievements, status, and acceptance by others, it is easy to get lost in false images of self-worth. But God calls us to something deeper – an identity rooted in His truth, His love, and His calling for our lives.
The pit of anxiety and depression
In my matric year I realised I was struggling with anxiety and depression. Since I was leading worship at my church, it felt taboo for me to admit that I was struggling with this. I grew up with the best parents, in a home full of love and peace where Jesus was number one. How could this be happening? During my preliminary exams, I experienced a heartbreak that shattered me. I felt like I was in a pit with no way out, and I started believing the lie that the world would be better off without me.
Overwhelmed with fear
One evening, I was visiting my grandmother and sat crying on her bed. “Lord, will I go to hell if I take my own life?” I prayed. I was overwhelmed with fear that I would not be with Him if I ended my life. My parents came to fetch me after my worried friend called them. They loved me through my pain and brokenness. After that night, I attended a few counselling sessions and things got better for a while…
Where everything started to change
Three years later, however, I found myself in that pit again. I ran to Jesus with everything in me and laid it all before Him. That was when everything changed. Jesus began to walk a journey with me, showing me that even if the whole world turned its back on me, He never would. He began to speak clearly to my heart about who I am, and how He sees me.
The image of the dandelion
He showed me that I was like a dandelion, a small flower with many seeds, and that these seeds represented the things that gave me my identity. Each seed represented something or someone else: my parents, my friends, my grades, the church, my appearance, etc. Jesus asked me if He could blow on the flower? I agreed and saw all the seeds blowing through the air… There was only a stalk left and Jesus told me that He loves me just as I am, that I am enough for Him without all the seeds – upon which I had built my identity.
More than just my outward appearance
I realised that I had lived for so long trying to be accepted by the people around me, trying to fit into their picture of who I was supposed to be. After that encounter with Jesus, I shaved off all my hair to make space in my heart for Him to give me a new identity in Him. My hair had dictated how I felt about myself for so long. My appearance defined my identity. This change was my choice to be more than just my outward appearance, to believe that the Lord alone determines my identity, to leave my past behind. I chose to believe that He accepts me for who I am and not for how I look. The enemy comes with lies that say we have to work for love and acceptance. The word of God teaches us something different: “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works…” (Eph 2:8-9). When I look in the mirror now, I see myself as loved by Him and enough for Him! I am now a happily married woman, a mother and a pastor, but more than all these things, I am His first.
Find Jesus, and you will find yourself!
My husband and I are the campus pastors at Koinonia Discipleship Training Academy in Mossel Bay, where we mentor and equip young people in the Word. It is a 12-month programme where students dedicate a year to Jesus and follow Him with everything in them. Young person, if you are reading this today, I want to tell you: There is hope. There is a light at the end of your dark tunnel. I say this because I have made it to the other side and can testify that Jesus carried me through! The most common thing that is said to a young person is: “You have to go find yourself.”But I want to tell you today that when you find Jesus, you will find yourself. Seek Him with all your heart and you will find your identity in Him!
This article is featured in the April issue of JOY! Magazine, which is now on sale nationwide! Pick up your copy from any leading supermarket, or read a digital version of this issue here: joygifts.co.za
Click here to KEEP UPDATED on the latest news by subscribing to our FREE weekly newsletter.
> Please support Christian media and journalism in South Africa. Help us to spread the Word of God and take a stand for the truth by making a donation to our ministry. We appreciate your support. Click here to take hands with JOY! Magazine.
Date published: 09/04/2025
Feature image: Supplied
DISCLAIMER
JOY! News is a Christian news portal that shares pre-published articles by writers around the world. Each article is sourced and linked to the origin, and each article is credited with the author’s name. Although we do publish many articles that have been written in-house by JOY! journalists, we do not exclusively create our own content. Any views or opinions presented on this website are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the company.
