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Many fathers believe their parenting role is limited to financial provision and instilling discipline in children. Some see playing with children as women’s work. Others are intimidated by the idea. However, in a new film titled Playing Dad, social behaviour change NPO Heartlines explores how active play is critical to learning for young children, and how fathers can contribute to children’s development by choosing to spend time playing with them.

The film (the seventh in the Fathers Matter anthology) will launch on the Fathers Matter website and on the HeartlinesZA YouTube channel on Friday 13 June, ahead of Father’s Day on 15 June.


Challenging attitudes towards play
“Can I be playful with my child and still keep his respect?” This is one of the questions that Vincent Mahlape explores in his role as Mpendulo in the film, Playing Dad. It’s a question that many fathers may grapple with as they’ve been socialised to believe that a father’s primary role is to put food on the table and to command respect as a disciplinarian. Through the eyes of Mpendulo, a strict and traditional father and carpenter by trade, the idea is seeded that there is room for fathers to enjoy active play with their children too. As Mpendulo learns to take care of his son, Ndumiso (played by 6-year-old Siyamthanda Nxumalo), when his wife leaves suddenly to attend a family emergency, he begins to be challenged about what it means to really connect with his son.

The film also explores factors contributing to fathers’ reluctance to play with their children, including how the prevalence of gender-based violence in South Africa has contributed to a climate of mistrust. This includes the way men spending time with children is often viewed with suspicion. When Mpendulo must step in to help with a crisis at Ndumiso’s early childhood development (ECD) centre, he discovers there’s very little room for dads in these spaces.

The film aims to question societal norms and to inspire fathers to engage more deeply and positively with their children through safe play, as well as encouraging ECD centres to be more inclusive of fathers. It highlights the importance of active fatherhood in fostering learning and development and calls for change.

Why focus on play?
“Five years ago, we released a research report that detailed an important barrier for dads’ engagement with their children, which is lack of parenting skills,” says Lereko Mfono, Fathers Matter Project Coordinator and a “playing dad” himself. “Due to many factors, including societal perceptions of the role of fatherhood, there is a lack of knowledge of how to be a positive, engaging, practical father. Playing Dad was inspired by the need we identified through research and community engagement: many men want to be involved in the lives of their children but don’t always know how and worry they might lose respect by leaning into constructive playtime.”

The film adds to the body of the fatherhood resources, exploring how playful experiences build character, relationships and resilience. “Through our Fathers Matter ECD programme, we know that from birth to age five, a child’s brain develops more than at any other time in life. During this period, children develop the connections they need to be healthy, capable, successful adults. Dads play an important part in this process and ECD teachers can equip dads for this,” says Mfono.

Fikile Poka, Fathers Matter Regional Representative and ECD practitioner says, “Men can challenge traditional gender roles and demonstrate that nurturing and caring are not solely roles to be performed by women, which is also a way of dealing with societal stereotypes. Active, safe play stimulates cognitive development and provides an opportunity for children to learn from fathers. It builds strong emotional bonds. We emphasise safe play, given the alarming incidents of abuse of children, which we believe can be redressed when fathers choose to show up in a positive, caring way.”

Combating stereotypes
“Without a doubt, Playing Dad is going to get the conversation going on societal stereotypes and gender roles,” says Poka. “We want to convey that fathers can be playful and respected. There’s room for both.”

Research and lived experience show that the active, nurturing presence of fathers or positive male figures in a child’s life can significantly reduce the likelihood of boys becoming perpetrators, and girls becoming victims of violence, including GBV.  Yet, harmful stereotypes often discourage or stigmatize men who want to be involved in their children’s lives, particularly in early childhood.

This stigma extends to ECD practitioners and facilities, Poka says. “Hopefully, the community will start embracing the positive role that fathers play in the lives of their young ones and ECD practitioners will begin to more intentionally create environments that welcome and involve fathers in their children’s education.”

Resources available
Aside from the Fathers Matter website, which includes various helpful and free resources, Heartlines offers the Fathers Matter Coach, a free WhatsApp-based platform that provides South African men with real-time support and motivation in their fatherhood journeys.

Join by visiting fathersmatter.org.za or WhatsApp “hi” to 060 058 2107.

Playing Dad Cast Members:

  • Vincent Mahlape
  • Siyamthanda Nxumalo
  • Luyanda Mzazi
  • Neo Ntlatleng
  • Dimakatso Lebeoana
  • Pheello Sehlolo

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Date published: 12/06/2025

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