Written by: Thislife Online magazine
Article source: www.thislifeonline.co.za

How did a London youth ‘without much vision’ end up mentoring South African prisoners and ex-offenders using coffee and football? How did he get through some weighty family challenges? And what’s so significant about Alfie, his Staffordshire Bull Terrier? MARK SLESSENGER told Katy Macdonald

Mark (48) grew up in London, the oldest child of an entrepreneur and social care nurse, but has lived in Cape Town for more than half his life. He’s married to Kirsty, a counsellor. They have two teenage sons and live in Cape Town’s Sun Valley

‘At 18, I was a typical London youth mucking around without much vision. My dad asked his best friend, who lived in Cape Town, about any work opportunities out here. He knew of one: his church was looking for a youth administrator. ‘Why would I want to work in a church?’ I asked. My parents made me attend church, but I didn’t believe in God. Dad said I’d just be doing admin and Cape Town sounded nice. ‘If it’s only admin, I’ll do it,’ I said.

I flew out to Cape Town and the pastor was very kind to me. I never participated in any spiritual stuff, but halfway through the year we went on a mission trip to Zimbabwe. During a church service, one of our leaders went up to the front and asked if anyone needed healing prayer. A lady who couldn’t hear or speak went up, he laid his hands on her ear and her mouth and, bof, she was healed right in front of me! She was ecstatic, jumping up and down, crying, making sounds and pointing to her ear to indicate that she could hear. Her friends were all celebrating with her. I knew something authentic was happening because our leader was a very credible guy.

A teenage Mark with his father Gerry and sister Corinne. ‘At 18, I was a typical London youth mucking around without much vision,’ he says

Mark didn’t believe in God but something he saw in a Zimbabwean church while accompanying this group outreach changed his entire attitude

I sat in that church and said, ‘That’s it, God. You’re real. No more messing about.’ From then on, I was really excited about God. I stayed with the church till the end of the year, went back to work in insurance in London for a bit, then was accepted for a theological degree at Cornerstone Bible Institute back in Cape Town. All was great, apart from the classes in Afrikaans which I didn’t understand, and I met my wife Kirsty right there in class. I noticed her on day one. When we dated, her love for God and passion for missions shone through, and I loved how gentle and kind she was.

After my degree, Kirsty and I were married in London and worked in business preparing to go into full-time ministry: I was being sent by my UK church to Cape Town as a missionary. The day I arrived in South Africa, my new missions organisation, Ambassadors Football, asked me to go into Pollsmoor Prison!

And then they got married! Mark met his wife-to-be Kirsty in class at Cornerstone Bible Institute. ‘I noticed her on day one. When we dated, her love for God and passion for missions shone through, and I loved how gentle and kind she was,’ he says

I’d been prepared for working in schools and communities, so Pollsmoor was not my first choice! But I went there the very next day with a football and a bible, ready as I could be to work with the under 18s. It was mayhem. There were about 250 juvenile offenders in one block: completely overcrowded because Correctional Services was so under-resourced. In those days, some of the guys in prison were very young. I went in one day a week and after each visit I’d say to myself, ‘I’m glad I won’t be back until next week.’

But over time, as I heard the stories of these young boys with tattoos on their arms, my heart started to break. I saw a whole generation of young people with no direction. Sheep without a shepherd. It was heartbreaking to see their young lives being snatched away. ‘We can’t do a hit-and-run visit once a week,’ I said to our team at Ambassadors. ‘We need to walk a proper journey with these guys.’

I started going into Pollsmoor daily with a team and we set up a football academy for prisoners with soccer talent who genuinely wanted to leave the gangster life behind. Sport helped us find common ground, even bringing together different gangs as one team. Together we moved forward in football, their education and what we wanted to achieve as a team. And, together, we investigated faith.

Mark: ‘We set up a football academy for prisoners with soccer talent who genuinely wanted to leave the gangster life behind. Sport helped us find common ground, even bringing together different gangs as one team’

Because of the overcrowding and lack of correctional staff, many of the young men struggled to have their needs met. We prayed for God to send someone who could make a difference, and a new section head called Chris Malgas arrived. The young men hadn’t been eating together or even always had cutlery, but he laid out a long communal table, gave them plastic knives and forks. Together with Chris, we ran voluntary devotions for the prisoners. We wanted the guys to hear the message: ‘We believe in you, we see your potential, we’re going to treat you like human beings. We want to give you dignity because we believe there’s hope for your life and God has a plan for it.’ It was quite incredible, you could feel a shift in the whole atmosphere.

Things needed time, of course. There are no quick fixes working in the prison environment. You had to be willing to journey a long time so you could go deep together. We worked with different types of prisoners in various locations and saw much change in people. We moved the programme in 2008 to Drakenstein Prison and, thanks to a very receptive prison leader called Mr Namazama, were able to establish an elite football academy called Hope Academy in one of the sections. Soon Correctional Services saw the benefit and developed a full sports academy wing with rugby, basketball and other sports. Negative incidents decreased, and the prison won an award for top prison in the country in terms of rehabilitation. The programme was nominated for a global award two years in a row, and I represented Ambassadors in Chicago at one of the awards ceremonies, a wonderful experience. The academy is still running today, albeit in a different form. I’m still in contact with some of the men, and many are thriving.

purpose in life

I worked inside prisons for 15 years, and my purpose in life became mentoring young men who have no hope or purpose. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than seeing someone who’s struggling becoming the person God wants them to be. Of course, the stories weren’t always good. Some guys were just not ready to change, or didn’t want to. Some made the decision to change years later. We weren’t there to judge, just to share God’s love with them.

In 2013, I left Ambassadors to join a team establishing The Message Trust in South Africa. This was an NPO coming out of the UK with great development models to support ex-offenders. This is much needed because it’s extremely hard to find work when you have a criminal record. Through the trust, we set up an organisation called Gangstar Café to help former prisoners through coffee. Like the football, coffee became a vehicle to train, equip and empower them, show them a different way and offer spiritual hope. We also introduced ex-offenders to transformed guys from their own communities so that they could support each other.

After Ambassadors Football, Mark and a team set up an organisation called Gangstar Café to help former prisoners through coffee. ‘Like the football, coffee became a vehicle to train, equip and empower them, show them a different way and offer spiritual hope,’ he says

Above and below: coffee and deliciousness are served with a smile at Gangstar Café, which has branches in Mowbray, Durbanville and Every Nation Church, Goodwood | Photos: Gangstar Café

Gangstar also organised the first barista class ever to be run in a South African prison | Photo: Gangstar Café

Mark and a Message Trust team-mate pray with a prisoner

One guy we mentored at The Message Trust is Bongani, who was going down into a dark pit of crime in an attempt to provide for his younger siblings who had no parental support. One day, I asked him what his vision was and he said, ‘To be a chef’. We got him on a cooking course, sharing the cost with him. Recently, he messaged me out of the blue, saying he was working at Stir Crazy Culinary Academy, and invited Kirsty and me to dinner as a thank you. It was an amazing evening, so good to see him happy and smiling, and doing what he was born to do.

Mark and Kirsty with chef Bongani. Needing to provide for his siblings, Bongani was falling into crime when Mark met him. This changed when Gangstar gave Bongani the opportunity to pursue his dream of being a chef. Recently, years later, he invited the couple to a thank-you dinner that he cooked for them

Another guy I met through Gangstar was Shepherd. He was illiterate and had been incarcerated for a drug crime. He learnt to read in prison, started reading the Bible and connecting with God, and joined our reintegration programme. When he came out of prison we trained him in coffee, and he’s now married with kids, following God and is establishing his own mobile coffee company, Malusi Coffee. He also trains baristas at an NPO called Red Band Barista Academy. It’s awesome, we have become great friends.

Through Gangstar, Shepherd overcame illiteracy and a drug crime conviction. He’s now married with children, is establishing his own mobile coffee company, Malusi Coffee, and trains up would-be baristas. ‘We have become great friends,’ says Mark

Three years into my time at The Message Trust, Kirsty and I had a marriage crisis which led to two and a half years of separation, and a three-year divorce. It was a long battle with a lot of trauma and pain for Kirsty, the boys and me. I felt the whole world was being ripped from under my feet. It was very difficult to work in pain as a leader, and I entered the darkest period in my life. I remember one time praying and saying, ‘God, I’ve got nothing left. I can’t pray any more to you because I’m just so tired. Help me!’

I sensed God making promises to me about the marriage but I was wobbling. At one stage, I lost all hope. I sat in my cottage with the curtains drawn and didn’t go out for a whole week. I’d always been going into the prisons saying, ‘You’ve got to dig deep and trust God and He will bring you out of this.’ Now I was the one sitting in darkness and having to dig deep.

deep pit of depression

But because I was so desperate and broken, my relationship with God went to a place it had never gone to before. I felt Him saying, ‘If you carry on like this you’re going to get into a deep pit of depression, you need to get out of this. It’s your turn to trust me.’ I opened all the curtains, hit exercise and started really trusting Him.

And God restored both our hearts in a miraculous way. The miracle is that, after six years, Kirsty and I were reconciled and we remarried in 2021. As I look back over that bleak period, I can see God’s faithfulness and goodness to us, it’s amazing. It has also been amazing for the boys, and it’s so wonderful to see their happiness. The change in them has been phenomenal, it’s been such a redemptive story for us.

After a marital split that lasted six years, Mark and Kirsty were reconciled and remarried. ‘It’s been such a redemptive story for us,’ says Mark

With our marriage restored, Kirsty and I both wanted to do something together. I was offered a fantastic job in Honduras but we couldn’t see a role that would work for her. Then we were both offered jobs at the CHS Life Centre, the new wing of a church in Kirstenhof called Church of the Holy Spirit that serves and loves people all week long. Kirsty was able to base her counselling practice in the church, and I was offered the opportunity to lead the new centre. I wasn’t interested if it was just about running a building, but when the church agreed I could also get involved in community engagement and serving the poor and the marginalised, I accepted the position.

I joined the Life Centre in January 2023 and I love the opportunities it offers to serve and make an impact, the power it can bring to initiatives in communities with social challenges such as Westlake and Capricorn. It’s what church should be. In the foyer is a coffee shop with a long table that stretches from inside to far outside, representing the fact that everyone who walks through our door is welcome. We provide showers and meals for unhoused people, skills development courses, counselling, rooms for non-profits, and have local business tenants like a ballet school and a fitness gym. We have tables where people can come and work, and our coffee is great! We’re diverse and multi-cultural, and see unhoused people sitting next to people who will never have to worry about their next meal. Civic events, business events, community events. It’s been exciting to see all God has been doing in this space

Working in the same building has been great for the restoration of Kirsty and myself. She’s thriving and runs her private practice there, as well as doing pro bono counselling for the church. She even says what our marriage went through has equipped her to add value in her counselling.

In 2023, Mark and Kirsty were both offered work at the CHS Life Centre, the new wing of a church in Cape Town’s Kirstenhof that ‘serves and loves people all week long,’ says Mark. ‘I love the opportunities it offers to serve and make an impact, the power it can bring to initiatives in townships such as Westlake and Capricorn. It’s what church should be.’

Above and below: the Life Centre caters for many different needs. As well as offering people without homes the opportunity to have a shower and a meal, it has local tenants such as a ballet school and Pilates studio, and hosts civic and community events. In the foyer is a coffee shop with a long table that represents the fact that everyone who walks through its doors is welcome. ‘We see unhoused people sitting next to people who will never have to worry about their next meal,’ says Mark

A job readiness course at the centre offers new beginnings

Kirsty has based her counselling practice at the Life Centre and also does pro bono work for the church

Barista Priscilla at the Life Centre coffee shop. Says Mark: ‘Priscilla is a mother of five in our church community. She has a background of addiction and drugs and had gone into a dark space after a partner breakup. We trained her to make coffee and she’s absolutely flying.’  Says Priscilla: ‘It’s such a privilege for me to work at the café. To go from taking from the community through drug dealing to being in a place that brings the community together is a huge blessing in my life!’

Mark with the Life Centre’s receptionist, Gean, and the church’s minister, Brendan

‘Working in the same building has been great for the restoration of Kirsty and myself,’ says Mark | Photo: Ronelle de Villiers

Our son Joel was diagnosed at about four with learning challenges and dyspraxia, and couldn’t go through the normal educational routes. We’ve often wrestled with God, asking why Joel had to struggle while his peers were flying? It seemed so unfair. It’s been a long, hard journey but, after achieving vocational qualifications in subjects including animal care, he was offered a probationary job at the World of Birds Wildlife Sanctuary. This was purely on the strength of an email, without him even meeting his employer! You can say it’s circumstantial but I don’t see things like this normally happening. I believe it is God’s goodness. It fills my heart with joy and is such an encouragement to see our gentle, loving, caring son working. He has his challenges and it’s not easy, but we are so proud of him. I’m profoundly thankful.

Mark and Kirsty with sons Liam (left) and Joel, who is currently working at the World of Birds Wildlife Sanctuary  | Photo Ronelle de Villiers

I believe in God because I’ve seen His power at work in my life. I saw that lady’s hearing restored in Zimbabwe. I’ve seen God bring out of dark places of crime and gangsterism to reconcile with their families. I’ve seen Him move in the prison and in our communities. And I’ve seen Him at work in my own life, His goodness to me in the storm. Even when I make mistakes, He continues to be faithful.

To people in a dark place, I want to say, don’t let go! Hold onto the promises of God for your life. It doesn’t feel like it now, but He’ll take you out of it. I always think of how my Staffie Alfie loves to hang onto a tyre or a stick and won’t let go to the point where his gums bleed. That’s what we need to do with God. When you’re ‘bleeding’ and in pain, don’t let go of Him. Trusting Him takes resilience but the alternative is worse. I’ve seen guys who have gone through a similar journey to me but chosen a different route instead of God: alcohol, relationships, whatever. I’ve never seen it pan out well.

It’s easy to get despondent with what’s happening around us in South Africa and the world, but if we’re true to who He’s called us to be, God will use us to make a difference, and our stories can encourage others. My prayer for this interview is that it will encourage somebody, whether they’re in ministry or haven’t yet truly connected with God. I just want it to be an encouragement. There’s so much bad news out there but God can use us to bring hope, salt and light.’

WHEN YOU’RE IN PAIN, HANG ONTO GOD LIKE ALFIE HANGS ONTO THIS STICK, SAYS MARK!

A FEW MORE VISUALS

Above and below: people at the Life Centre work and connect

Freedom! Mark’s Newlands Forest run with some ex-offenders he mentored in prison. ‘Nothing gives me greater pleasure than seeing someone who’s struggling becoming the person God wants them to be,’ he says

‘I’M NOT THE PERSON I USED TO BE.’ WATCH MARK AND FORMER PRISONERS

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Date published: 26/06/2024
Feature image: Mark Slessenger: ‘To people in a dark place, I want to say don’t let go!’ | Photo: Ronelle de Villiers

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