Written by: Sophia Roman
Article source: JOY! Magazine
In the first few years of a child’s life, parents remember important milestones. First words and steps are recorded and fondly remembered. Sharing these exciting moments with family and friends can be endless, yet this fades as we grow older. Later in life, a loved one’s last words are remembered and are quoted. These last words often become part of the values and principles by which we live. Spending over 30 days in a Covid ward in hospital brought deep reflection for Joan Primo.
Lifelong love
On the 23rd December last year, Joan and her lifelong love and father of her four children would have celebrated 60 years of a beautiful love story with its challenges, growth, friendship, and commitment. Over the years their intimacy had grown deeper and deeper.
“Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” – Proverbs 16:24

Joan & Alfred Primo
‘Ouvrou, is jy ok?’
However, two weeks before their anniversary, both Joan and Alfred were hospitalised. Amazing hospital staff organised for them to lie side by side in the ward. Joan remembers so vividly, hearing Alfred’s gentle voice asking her all day, “Ouvrou, is jy ok?” “Ja papa, dankie” would be her response. As they struggled to fight the virus together, there was this consistent question with love and gentleness: “Ouvrou, is jy ok?” and she would repeat: “Ja papa, dankie” not knowing his condition was slowly deteriorating.
Powerful last words
Then they heard that their son Kevin, who is also their pastor, was fighting Covid and had been admitted to the same hospital in a different ward. Ma Primo, as she is fondly known, would lay in bed and, with shortness of breath, would pray for her husband Alfred and her son Kevin, trusting God for healing and for all those struggling in the hospital. She remembers the morning that the doctor came to let her know that Alfred was not doing well, and that his life was ebbing away. She asked the doctor to go and speak to Kevin to share the news with him. It was at this point that she no longer heard her husband’s voice…

Joan & Alfred Primo
The presence of God
How she longed to hear him ask her one more time if she was okay. The deep, dark silence was overwhelming. They wheeled Alfred’s body away eight days before their 60th wedding anniversary. Joan’s emotions flooded in different directions. Soon, word spread in the ward and her fellow patients broke out in songs of worship and praise to God, weeping with her. It was an experience that was indescribable. The presence, the nearness of God was all over the place.
A memorial of deep love
Kevin recovered well and was in time to lay his dad’s body to rest with a few friends and family. Alfred’s “Ouvrou” sadly missed this important closure. Just over a month later, she was discharged from hospital, still struggling with her lungs. For weeks she did not know what she was feeling. Nothing made sense to her, but God’s presence was tangibly felt in a very special way. The last gentle words of a love of 60 years, “Ouvrou is jy ok?” stands as a memorial of a deep love, friendship, and in faith in God.

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Date published: 22/08/2021
Feature image: Alfred & Joan Primo
Sophia Roman is a pioneer, visionary and life transformation coach. Sophia and her husband Theo pastor the West Reach AOG Church in Mitchells Plain.
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