Compiled by: Gillian Fraser
Article source: JOY! Magazine 

There is often a stigma when it comes to marriage counselling. Many see counselling as something that is only applicable for couples whose relationships are strained. Love After Marriage workshops are different. Gary and Hilary Palser – the facilitators of these workshops – have a passion to see marriages in South Africa thrive. They present marriage workshops around our country, intended for anyone who is married – young and old, happy or struggling. These workshops are intended to enrich the love that you and your spouse have for each other, and to enhance and strengthen your relationship. I had the privilege to sit down with this beautiful couple and to hear their heart and vision for their ministry.

“Strong marriages are at the core of thriving families and culture.”

Strong biblical foundations
The Love After Marriage (LAM) workshops fall under Nothing Hidden Ministries, which was birthed in California by founders Barry and Lori Byrne of Bethel Church. Barry has been a licensed marriage and family therapist for more than 30 years. Gary and Hilary travelled to California in 2013 and were introduced to this stunning ministry through attending a LAM workshop. After attending the workshop themselves, and seeing the Holy Spirit empowered changes in their own relationship and in other couples too, they felt a calling from God to bring this ministry to South Africa. Over the years, Gary and Hilary have both received inner healing themselves. Gary grew up in a difficult family situation which caused him to build walls around his emotions. He experienced deep inner healing which brought down these walls.

‘Refiring’ for Christ
After Gary retired from his career as an actuary at Old Mutual, through a God-ordained set of circumstances Gary and Hilary met a couple while visiting Bethel Church who were planning to bring LAM to South Africa. As a result of this couple’s visit to South Africa, Gary and Hilary and some other couples started presenting LAM weekly workshops at their churches. In 2017, Gary and Hilary attended the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM) to be ‘refired’. After graduating from BSSM they received an invitation from Barry and Lori to become Regional Co-ordinators for Nothing Hidden Ministries in South Africa, to present the intensive version of the LAM workshop in churches around our nation and to equip more couples to present weekly workshops in their own churches. Many of the couples who attend their workshops also come to Gary and Hilary for personal help with their marriages, using the inner healing tools that are part of the workshop. Their vision is to see many churches hosting LAM workshops, to lead more couples into spiritual, emotional, and sexual oneness.

Gary and Hilary Palser, Crazy Little Thing Photography

Gary and Hilary Palser, Crazy Little Thing Photography

Insight from the founders:
“From the moment we say I do, we all desire to have a strong and intimate marriage, and yet so few people are actually experiencing this with their spouse. Love After Marriage helps couples connect on a deep and intimate level so they can experience the kind of marriage they’ve hoped for. Marriage can be really hard. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married a month or 20 years. We’ve all had those times of escalating conflicts, feeling hurt and frustrated towards each other, and experiencing the pain and stress of disconnection – even hopelessness at times. We understand and have helped thousands of couples learn how to restore, maintain, and deepen the connection in their marriage relationship, regardless of their history. Unfortunately, almost all of us enter into married life with a lack of skills and tools to help create the marriage we desire – one filled with love, intimacy, enjoyment, hope, and security. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. There is hope!”

Love After Marriage helps couples connect on a deep and intimate level.

When you go through LAM, you will:
• Learn how to develop deeper intimacy in your marriage by inviting God to play an active role in your relationship.
• Practice implementing simple and practical tools that will help you build and protect your connection. With the right tool set, even the most stressful and difficult of problems becomes an opportunity to become even closer with your spouse.
• Gain insight and wisdom on how to further connect on an emotional, sexual and spiritual level.

Don’t let your intimacy fade
Don’t let pain and conflict go unresolved in your marriage. If we are unintentional in this area, we are leaving room for disconnection to grow. Build and protect the intimacy in your relationship by getting equipped with the right skills and tools, and learning to navigate the intricacies of marriage with God. By investing the time and energy now, it will create deeper connection between you and your spouse for decades to come. Sign up for Love After Marriage today. Why? Because why wait any longer to begin experiencing the marriage you’ve hoped for?

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Date published: 11/05/2020

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