Written by: Gerda Potgieter
Article source: Supplied
Gerard Alfino lost his father at a very young age, which led him off course in life. He was born in the Cape Flats of Cape Town and initially lived with both parents. However, when his father passed away, Gerard was still relatively young. He said his father was his role model, and when he died, everything turned dark for him. As his mother’s favourite child, he was able to get away with a lot.
Youth enjoy the Sports & Fun Day during the KwaSizabantu Youth Conference
With his father gone, Gerard began stealing from his home. Eventually, he escalated to stealing vehicles. He later connected with other young men who hung out on the corner of his street. He thought the group looked “cool,” so he joined them and started smoking dagga (marijuana) with them. It did not cross his mind that he would ever end up in prison because no one in the group was ever imprisoned back then. When he was with them, he did what they did. He stole with them because he could no longer steal anything from his house—there was nothing left to steal. So, he joined the group of criminals to steal elsewhere, was caught, and sentenced to six years in prison. Sadly, he celebrated his 21st birthday in prison.
He was released at the age of 27. In prison, he saw a gangster who had a rank (in the gangster structure) and wanted to get what he had. He learned about numbers (gangsters operate according to specific numerical codes) and how to advance in the ranks. So, he went in and out of prison four times. He received four sentences (in total): The first sentence was for 6 years, the second for 8 years, the third for 6 years, and the last for 33 years. He was released the last time in September (2023) when he was already in his Fifties.
Gerard’s cousin, Kurt van Eeden, is employed at the KwaSizabantu Mission, where he also received help for his addictions previously. Initially, Gerard was reluctant to seek assistance, but a tragic incident, where someone was shot and killed near his residence, changed his mind. Gerard mentioned that this event convinced him it was time to seek help, prompting him to attend the CYPSA restoration program at KwaSizabantu.
Gerard recalled, “After my 14 days were over, I stayed for 2 months, and during that time, KwaSizabantu hosted a youth conference. I did not know what a conference was. I have no understanding of high-level languages whatsoever. I thought a conference was for important people – the managers will sit down and have a conference. However, when I saw all the children, I was afraid because there were many of them. It was not 50 children; it was many children. I heard it was 12,000.
3 meals for over 7000 youth during the KwaSizabantu Youth Conference
“During the conference, a woman spoke to us. She told us about the importance of abstaining and suggested that by embracing the teachings at KwaSizabantu, we would begin to see it as a place that truly helps those in need. She pointed out that our mindset is crucial; we must genuinely want to be helped. If someone comes to KwaSizabantu merely for food or to improve their physical condition without a sincere desire for change, that person will not be helped. If that’s the case, that person wastes everyone’s time. There are people at KwaSizabantu who are dedicated to helping people who have struggled with drug addiction like me.
“I was heavy on drugs; I used to smoke anything. Before I came to KwaSizabantu, I was on cocaine; I was on Tik; I was on buttons; I was on ecstasy. I did my last trip using all those drugs before I came to KwaSizabantu, because I knew I had to stop. And when I stopped, I stopped”.
Two months later, after the conference, Gerard went back home to see if he could overcome the drugs. He overcame it. He said, “I overcame the drugs. My life from here will change – I don’t know. I don’t know if this is the right thing to say to you, but I told my counsellors I want to be a normal person like my Mom and my Dad when they were growing up. I want to be a normal person, worship the Lord, have a married life, go to work, come home, sit down with my children, and enjoy life”.
Growing up without a father can be a significant challenge, profoundly impacting the hearts and minds of young people. However, the presence of an engaged father serves as a vital foundation for a child’s emotional, social, and intellectual growth. Studies show that children with involved fathers tend to excel academically, experience fewer behavioural issues, and forge deeper connections with friends. A father’s active participation in a child’s life creates an environment of safety and belonging, which significantly enhances mental well-being and boosts their confidence.
While the absence of a father can be difficult for a child, support from other caring adults can significantly enhance a child’s resilience. This highlights the significance of community in helping children navigate life’s challenges. We all can make a positive impact on a child’s life.
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Date published: 31/08/2025
Feature image: The Kwasizabantu youth conference is a tool in the hands of the missionaries to bring young people closer to the Lord and help those in need. It is well-attended by thousands of young people twice a year.
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