Interview by: Sophia Roman
Article source: JOY! Magazine
“The atmosphere in the waiting room was nerve-wracking, not knowing what was happening behind the closed doors of the smaller rooms. I could not think about what was going to happen or what to expect. It felt icy, cold, and sombre. I did not want to be there. If only I could leave as soon as possible, but I had to wait my turn. There were so many young girls, and all of us were there for the same reason. There was hardly any conversation. I guess most of us were lost in deep thought, but I remember soft whispers between a few of the girls. Patients were waiting in the trauma section of the clinic on one side, and patients waiting for an abortion on the other. There were about ten of us waiting to abort our babies that day. Ages ranged from early teens to about 30 years old…”
Q. What were you thinking at this stage?
I had no thought processes at this time. It was as if I was numb, and all I wanted was for this baby to be out of my body. The only thing I thought about, looking at all the girls, was that we were all there for one reason. Looking back, I realise the deepest trauma felt on that day was by the little babies in our wombs – they had to go through death caused by us. Thinking about it now, it was so thoughtless, heartless, and cold. My aim was: I am not keeping the baby.
Q. What happened in the abortion room?
It was on a Wednesday. Looking back, I realise how even the nurse had compassion on me. She asked me if this was really what I wanted to do. She said, “If it’s not, I’m going to send you home, and I want you to really think about it and come back on Friday if it is really what you want.” I ended up going back on the Friday. I had the abortion. It was a three-day process. On the Sunday, the termination was complete. I can remember how painful it was, and how I was crying.
Q. How did you get to this place in your life?
I was only 19 years old. Like every person, or most young people, we tend to watch how other young people are living their lives. Drinking, smoking, clubbing – I did it all. I guess I wanted to fit in. My mom is a Godly and praying woman. She always prayed for me but never pushed me. There was a time when I committed my life to the Lord in my earlier days. Somehow, I just backslid and wanted to taste what was happening in the world. This is when I started partying, going to clubs, hanging out with and building relationships with the wrong people. All of this led to one day meeting someone at a club. We started speaking. A few weekends later, we ended up sleeping together. Six weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant, and I went to the doctor alone. I told the doctor that I was not keeping the baby. He referred me to a clinic for an abortion.
Q. Did any of your friends or family know?
I eventually told my sister, but my mom did not know. I had lost my dad just over a year before this happened, due to cancer. Mom is such a devoted Christian, I never wanted to disappoint her. I was backslidden at this stage.
Q. Where are you finding yourself now?
A few weeks ago, I decided to tell my family. My mother and family truly felt my pain. I needed to break the bondage and share this secret in order for God to heal me. I sought His forgiveness and now had to be open about it. I can truly say I was led by the Holy Spirit. After sharing this testimony, three of my cousins came to know the Lord as their personal Saviour. I recommitted my life to Jesus just over a year ago. I am active in my discipleship class and church, and have joined a movement of worshippers where I share my testimony with others. God has been using me to minister to hundreds of young people across the peninsula. My story has truly proven to be one that God is using for His glory. Looking back, my baby would have been a gift to my family – another kind of love, especially since we lost my dad. I have found the greatest love in Jesus Christ.
Q. What would you say to someone contemplating terminating a pregnancy?
I would say, from personal experience: go through the pregnancy. Don’t listen to the voice that tells you to abort your baby. They never tell you about the anguish, the psychological effects it has on your soul, the guilt, the regret, the suicidal thoughts. Even if you don’t know what to do, trust God. He will guide you step by step. It does not matter what others think of you or what they will say. Trust God in the process.
This article is featured in the July issue of JOY! Magazine. Read a digital version of this magazine here: joygifts.co.za
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Date published: 19/07/2025
SOPHIA ROMAN – pioneer, visionary, and life transformation coach. Sophia and her husband, Theo, pastor the West Reach AOG Church in Mitchells Plain.
Feature image: Image for illustrative purposes only.
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